


if i lose myself tonight

by musagetes



Category: One Direction (Band), Zayn Malik (Musician)
Genre: 69 (Sex Position), Anal Sex, Barebacking, Comeplay, Dildos, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Oral Sex, Riding, Rimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-09
Updated: 2013-10-09
Packaged: 2017-12-28 22:52:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/997862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/musagetes/pseuds/musagetes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam is probably the very definition of manliness -- he just looks so damn masculine with all that muscle and hair covering his body. Which is why it seems that much more erotic that someone like Liam gets off to being dominated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	if i lose myself tonight

**Author's Note:**

> trigger warning for liam being a sexy fuck. 
> 
> also, there are some mentions of liam and danielle and their sex life.
> 
> song from one republic because it seems appropriate.

It's five months after his breakup with Danielle and Liam is on edge. It's not that he's still mourning his loss, as he got over it within a week, but he's only now understanding the consequences of what it really means to be single.

Basically, he's on his own. Granted, that sort of comes hand in hand with breakup up with someone, but it's different for Liam because _he's_ on his own. It's not something he's particularlily used to, is the problem. The thing is, he needed Danielle. He relied on her more than he probably let on, but with her gone, he's been left to his own devices, and he really doesn't know how to operate like that.

It's just -- Liam is used to having people tell him what to do. It's sort of a requirement, given his line of work, one that he's learned to simply go along with. He prefers it that way. He doesn't argue, nor protest, just accepts what he's told and does it as best as he can. With Danielle, though, it was more than that; she was in control, and Liam was content with being the passive participant.

In retrospect, that could be the exact reason that contributed to their split.

" _You're a great guy, Liam,_ " she had said, all sweet if not condescending. " _But I need a_ man _._ "

Which was ironic, really, because Liam vividly remembers her being equally as into his kink as he was. At least, that's how it was at first. When Liam had confided that, despite his muscular image, he wasn't into the whole masculine side of their sex play and would prefer to take on a more passive role and submit to her domination, well, she didn't say no. Not the first time. Or the third, or seventh.

The idea of a guy like _Liam_ lying beneath her, all compliant and submissive as she fucks into him with the dildo strapped across her hips (" _Pegging_ ," Liam had explained to her the first time, after he shyly pulled the strap-on out of his bag.) was hard to resist. Erotic to think about, explicitly amazing to experience.

And it was enjoyable, for both of them. Liam wasn't ashamed to admit to his girlfriend that he enjoyed the feeling of being filled up with the toy that she herself would work in and out of him, as her soft hips would snap against his, her hairless thighs rubbing his. And after he would climax he would make sure she wasn't forgotten, going down on her and eating her out.

But in the tenure of those two years, that's pretty much all it was. Liam could count on one hand all the times that _he_ fucked _her._

And so she left, and while Liam knows it was due to more than just their sex life, that's the only thing Liam is still hung up on. He got off on being dominated. He liked it and still _needs_ it.

As it is, he's had a six month dry spell and he's more than a little irritable. He could easily pick up a fan and invite her to his bed, but he can't exactly have his way with her, not in the manner in which he'd like. It'd be too risky, sharing with her his kink and asking for her to participate in it with him. Once she's gone, there's no telling she might tell someone else, and Liam would very much rather keep this little embarrassing fact from the public, thanks.

So, because he simply _cannot_ ask for help, he has to do things himself: he bought some dildos.

It's quite different than what Liam is used to, is the problem. Liam doesn't necessarily see himself as gay. He doesn't have anything against guys, it's just a penis itself isn't what gets him off. He likes the dominance that the person _wearing_ the penis displays while he's submissive beneath them, not simply being stuffed full with one.

Which is why Liam quickly decides the dildos are useless and hides them away in one of his luggage bags.

Bad idea.

They're on tour and he's sharing a room with Zayn. They've just gotten back from a post-concert night out and Liam is finally feeling the exhaustion set in as Zayn exits the bathroom, towel wrapped loosely around his slim waist.

Liam, finding no enjoyment in the 2 am infomercials, opts to watch Zayn with droopy eyes as Zayn shuffles about the hotel room, digging through suitcases to find something to wear. He's staring blindly, too tired to really process anything, or else he would've responded quicker when he sees Zayn reach into Liam's black duffle bag.

"Zayn, no, don't --" Liam starts, but it's too late. Zayn's hand is already withdrawing from the bag, pulling with it Liam's guilty pleasure - a thin, five inch dildo.

Zayn just holds it in front of him, inspecting it, as Liam is perched on the edge of the bed, gaping helplessly. Finally, Zayn turns to look at Liam, an eyebrow raised in amusement and confusion.

"Now, I was going to ask if this was yours," Zayn starts, his hand waving the dildo just slightly, "or if Harry put it in your bag as a joke, but then you panicked and flipped out, which means you knew it was in here."

Liam opens and closes his mouth a few times, trying to come up with some sort of explanation, but words fail him each time. Zayn's right, he did panic. If he played it cool, he could've played it off. There's nothing Liam can say that can redeem himself.

"Liam," Zayn says, his voice expectant and void of tease. "Is this yours?"

Liam finds himself unable to meet Zayn's gaze any longer and looks away, biting his lip as he gives a terse nod.

"Okay," Zayn says, drawing the word out slowly as he tries to assess how to go about this without embarrassing Liam to the point where he closes in on himself. "Okay, well, there's nothing to be embarrassed about," Zayn reassures, "I mean, so what? You're gay, you like dick. No biggie."

Liam makes a strangled protest as he turns his head to Zayn, eyes wide with hinted madness.

"What? No! I'm not -- I'm not gay!" Liam sputters, though it sounds an awful lot like denial to his red tipped ears.

Zayn does that eyebrow thing again as his entire face contorts in confusion, his glance alternating between Liam's red face and the slightly sparkled form of the fuchsia dildo.

"It's really not what it looks like," Liam says, laughing humorlessly, just to ease the embarrassment.

"Okay," Zayn says after a moment, clucking his tongue. "I thought it looked like I found a dildo in your bag, one you knew was there and are now embarrassed about. But, I have shitty eyesight, and I'm not wearing my contacts, so I could be wrong."

Zayn's nice enough to pocket his glasses, grinning the whole time, and Liam feels as though he can finally breathe again now that Zayn isn't looking at him. At least, not clearly.

"Anyway, which bag are your shorts in?" Zayn asks, easily changing the subject. "Those red ones. Was gonna wear them to bed, if you don't mind."

"Yeah, no," Liam says dumbly, his hand blindly pointing at a bag to Zayn's side. Zayn follows the direction and retrieves the article of clothing he was looking for, a grin of success at his accomplishment gracing his face.

"Thanks," he says, discarding his towel as he tugs the shorts up.

 

 

Liam's not entirely sure what he expected, but it wasn't for things to go back to complete normalcy after Zayn discovered his unique fetish. Zayn's not said a word about it or treated Liam any differently since that night, and Liam honestly doesn't know what to do with that.

It's left Liam with a torrent of questions. Is Zayn pretending that nothing happened? Is Zayn actually okay with it? Could Zayn possibly have similar kinks, which is why he seems so indifferent about it?

These are just some of the questions that torment Liam's mind, almost constant as it nears six months since he's last been fucked. He just can't stop thinking about it, about Zayn, which is becoming a problem.

Because if Zayn _is_ okay with it, then maybe, just maybe, he'd be willing to… help… Liam, in his obvious time of need. Zayn's no fan; Liam trusts him. It's not like Zayn will run out and tell the world what Liam had him do in bed.

And it just gets Liam to thinking about it more and more. Usually, he's just had Danielle fucking him with a strap-on, but Zayn -- Zayn is a _man._ Liam isn't sure what it says about him that he's becoming increasingly interested in the idea of being fucked by another male, but he can't deny the fact that, Zayn being a male, he has a penis and it would feel much different than the usual artificial toy he fucks himself on.

That's really the selling point on the matter, and so the next time he shares a room with Zayn, he gathers all the courage he has and asks.

"Zayn?" Liam starts out warily, looking down at the blanket as he picks a loose thread in the comforter.

"Yeah?" Zayn prompts. He's still staring straight ahead at the television, but he turns the volume down to a lower level, a sign that Liam knows means he has Zayn's complete yet unobtrusive attention.

"I want to talk to you about, uh, that night," Liam manages, scratching behind his neck. Zayn turns to look at Liam for just a moment, and Liam's face heats up.

Zayn just nods and turns his gaze back to the t.v., giving Liam a relative sense of space to let him continue.

"It was mine," Liam confesses, all in one exhale. Realizing he may not be being clear, he adds in the same rush, wincing, "The dildo was mine."

"Okay," Zayn says casually. "But you're not gay. So, were you just experimenting? It's okay if you were, man."

"No, I wasn't, it's just --." Liam doesn't know where to start, so he decides to start from the beginning. "I haven't had sex since I broke up with Danielle."

Zayn frowns, his face conveying utter confusion, and Liam mentally kicks himself for being his articulation.

"It's just, we -- I'm sort of not in to the whole traditional male dominance thing," Liam admits quietly. "I prefer it when others take control, and I just take it. And Danielle, she was into it at first, you know? She played along with me, and she used to peg me -- that's where she'd wear a strap on and fuck me -- and that's just how we did it, until it wasn't enough for her anymore. And, I mean, I know I can easily pick someone up as a lay, but I can't exactly enjoy myself the way I want to without running the risk of them telling, you know?"

"Yeah, I get what you mean," Zayn agrees. "So that's why you have those toys? Do it yourself?"

Liam shakes his head. "No, doesn't work that way for me," he says, chuckling a bit. "Like I said, I'm not actually gay. It's not the idea of having my ass stuffed with a dildo or whatever that gets me off, it's me being all submissive to someone else's dominance."

"Which you can't get on your own," Zayn clues in.

"Right."

It's silent for a moment as Zayn processes all this new information. Liam's feeling quite relieved that Zayn hasn't flipped out yet, but he's still got a bit of courage to work up before he's ready to ask Zayn the big question.

"Okay," Zayn says, flipping the television off and readying himself off his bed. "I'll do it."

"You'll -- you'll what?" Liam asks, startling in surprise, watching with wide eyes as Zayn tugs his shirt off as he stops at the edge of Liam's bed.

"Well that's why you told me, right?" Zayn asks. "You want fucked but can't with a fan?"

"I --," Liam tries, then realizes that yeah, that's pretty much it. "Uh, yeah," he mutters, his face accented by rough stubble poking through red skin.

Zayn grins at him. "Good," he says. "This might be fun."

"So we're actually doing this?" Liam asks in a last moment of hesitation, not wanting to do anything that will jeopardize their friendship. "You're actually okay with this?"

"I don't see why not," Zayn shrugs. "I mean, if you don't want to, we don't have to."

"No! I want," Liam assures. "I definitely want to."

"Great," Zayn says, stripping out of his sweat pants. "So, you just want me to take control, right? You'll just do whatever I want?"

Liam nods dumbly in the wake of Zayn's dark gaze, acutely aware that his cock is responding well to the idea Zayn is proposing.

"Okay, and what are my limits? I've definitely got ideas but I don't want to push them too far."

"I don't really care what happens so long as you fuck me," Liam states.

"Okay, then," Zayn grins, shoving Liam back against the mattress so he's lying flat. He climbs on and straddles Liam's chest, his cock tenting in his boxers just in front of Liam's face. "If I'm gonna fuck you, you gotta get me ready."

Liam licks his lips because it seems like the natural thing to do, not because he actually has a lot of experience in sucking cock. There were a few occasions where he'd suck on the strap-on as he'd finger her, but Liam knows that the two instances are vastly different -- for one, he was sucking on silicon. In that instance, he didn't have to worry about being good or not because how was she supposed to know any better?

But this is a very different, very special case, and Liam finds it in himself that he wants to make this good for Zayn, and not simply because he wants Zayn to make it good for him in return.

So he nods his head and opens his mouth obediently as Zayn pulls his cock from his boxers. Zayn teases Liam first, tapping his cock against Liam's face, moaning lowly as the tip of his soft cock scratches against the roughness of Liam's stubble. He playfully taps the head of his cock against Liam's jaw, then his chin, then nose, all the while Liam's following it with his open mouth, trying to trap it between his lips.

Liam lets out an impatient and needy whine, surprising himself, and Zayn cocks an eyebrow as he smirks down at him, chuckling. He seems to take pity on Liam, though, and ends the tease, pushing his cock into Liam's open mouth, hissing with satisfaction as his cock slides down Liam's tongue.

Liam outright moans, not having been prepared for the experience of having a cock in his mouth. He notices the differences from the dildo immediately; Zayn's cock is hot and heavy in his mouth, wide in girth and pulsating against Liam's tongue. Every so often it twitches in Liam's mouth, as if Zayn is trying desperately hard not to give in to his urges and fuck down into Liam's mouth.

He swallows around it and goes to work, hollowing his cheeks as he sucks aptly on Zayn's length. His tongue slides against the underside, tracing the thick vein of Zayn's cock, before it curls at the lip of the head. That does something to Zayn, making him moan out as his limbs temporarily go weak, so Liam grins to himself and repeats the action, earning another low moan.

Zayn, satisfied with Liam's work but desperate for more, starts to move his hips, thrusting shallowly into Liam's mouth. Liam hums in response and the vibrations make Zayn's cock ache in the most pleasing of ways. He's incredibly hard as it is and he doesn't think he'll ever get over what he's doing, the fact that he's having Liam, his best mate, so masculine and muscular, sucking him off.

But Liam doesn't seem to be having the same thoughts as he focuses valiantly with stunning eagerness on getting Zayn off. He's already reasonably overwhelmed and he's not even undressed yet. It's just the feel of Zayn's hard cock pumping into his mouth is making Liam's senses go a bit crazy. It's all so new and there's a level of exoticness to this erotica that Liam finds appealing, just from the unique smell and taste of Zayn's manhood.

Zayn is sort of rising on his knees before he lowers himself back down, one hand held at the base of his cock while the other grips hard on the top of the headboard, as if he needs something to tether himself down to this world rather than fly straight to cloud nine. Zayn is making rough little grunts in between strangled rasps of air, and Liam knows Zayn is close; he can taste Zayn's leakage at the back of his throat, sweet on his tongue. Liam wonders if Zayn plans on coming like this, and realizes with a moan of his own that he wouldn't protest if Zayn did. (Not that he can, mouth presently stuffed and all.)

Zayn's eyes flutter open dazedly as he looks down at Liam, hissing as he bites roughly on his lower lip.

And then he's pulling his cock out from Liam's mouth the next moment, and Liam can't help the sound he makes, somewhere between wounded and embarrassingly needy and confused for thinking the prior two. Liam just watches as he tries not to glare too hard at Zayn as Zayn jumps off the bed and waddles towards their bags. It's actually a bit comical, Liam muses, because Zayn still has his boxers on, just the waistband pulled beneath Zayn's balls.

Zayn makes a hoorah of success when he finds whatever he was looking for then turns around and holds the item up for Liam to see, suggestive eyebrows raised obscenely. Zayn waves the dildo as if trying to get Liam to catch on, and indeed Liam does with a blush as his hole clenches in anticipation. Zayn grins at him, just the right kind of naughty and provocative.

"Take your shirt off," Zayn says as he steps out of his boxers. His voice is rough and husky, like he's just chained smoked an entire pack of cigarettes, and Liam feels a sense of pride at that because _I did that -- I wrecked Zayn Malik!_

"Now, Liam," Zayn growls with impatience, snapping Liam out of his reverie. Liam whimpers at Zayn's commanding tone, but does what he's told in an instant, not eager to displease Zayn. His cock is twitching in reverence but Liam has the feeling Zayn won't let him touch himself without Zayn's say so.

Liam sits up to pull his shirt off, but he ends up falling back as he's dragged forward, two hands on his hips, slender fingers curling beneath the waistband of Liam's sweats and underwear. Zayn pulls them both off roughly in one go, getting them haphazardly stuck at Liam's knees before finally working them free.

Zayn just lets Liam's clothes drop carelessly and forgotten to the floor behind him as he shamelessly lets his gaze wander Liam's body. Liam can't help feeling self-conscious as being the focus of Zayn's intense and darkened gaze, and shyly closes his knees together, hiding his groin.

"Don't," Zayn grumbles, catching Liam's knee as he glares at Liam. Liam flushes, and Zayn, surprisingly, gently eases Liam's legs apart. The tenderness makes coaxing Liam open even easier, and Liam slowly but surely is opening his legs, revealing himself completely to Zayn.

Zayn makes a sound that Liam doesn't quite catch, but when Liam does chance a look up at him he spots Zayn swallow, licking his lips as he nods in appreciation. He climbs back on the bed and settles himself between Liam's legs, a hand on each of Liam's knees before the start a slow descent down Liam's thighs. Zayn's gaze is appreciative as it travels Liam's body before landing on Liam's eyes, right as his hands meet Liam's hips, thumbs brushing Liam's pubes. It takes a moment but then Liam realizes Zayn is hesitating, that there is a question in his eyes asking if this is okay, if Liam is certain.

Liam closes his eyes and falls back against the pillows, suddenly overwhelmed with various feelings, only half of which he can comprehend and identify. First and foremost he's feeling gratitude that even in the heat of the moment and despite Liam's want for pure dominance, that Zayn will continue to place Liam's comfort above Zayn's own desires.

Eyes still closed he nods his head, and the reward is instant.

Now here's the thing: Liam knows that Zayn's fingers are magical. With a person as creative and amazing as Zayn is, his fingers can't be anything other than talented. And now those fingers, which Liam has witnessed first handedly Zayn making brilliant works of art with, are now dedicated to wrapping along Liam's cock and providing pleasurable relief to his aching member.

He doesn't cry out, not exactly, but his eyes flutter open after the first tug, pupils blown wide, as a strangled sort of moan/whimper hybrid falls from his lips. He's not been touched down there for nearly half a year, at least, not by anyone other than himself. He's almost forgotten how different it could be, the feeling of someone else's hands rubbing against his shaft. While his hands are rough and strokes are fast, Zayn's are sleek and precise. His tugs range from slow and teasing to fast and determined -- completely in control. If Liam were in a more coherent state, he'd probably make a joke about how his orgasm, not just his cock, is in Zayn's hands.

It's probably a mistake to do so, but Liam looks down his body to watch Zayn's hands travel up and down his cock experimentally, as if trying to get acquainted with Liam's dick. Zayn works on it with the same focus he'll give anything he's working hard on, being attentive and delicate and fuck if Liam doesn't think that's hot being centered solely on his cock.

Liam's hips buck up off the bed and into Zayn's tight grip, and Zayn smirks to himself, too amused to scold Liam for rushing things. He doesn't blame him; he's incredibly turned on by what's going on. He's jerking Liam's cock, trying to find a good rhythm, one that works with Liam's cock rather than Zayn's own, and he's just so amazed at how compliant Liam is being, how okay he is with all of this.

But with all the attention Zayn is focusing on Liam, his own is being neglected. Zayn's eyes rake across Liam, noting how the man is taking rugged breathes as his body writhes in pleasure, before landing on Liam's lips -- red and obscene and _oh_. Zayn's cock pulses, pre-come oozing from the head.

There's just so much Zayn would like to do, too much in fact but the bittersweet reality that time is limited and fleeting with every second of indecision is haunting. He knows that he absolutely has to fuck Liam, not just because it's what Liam asked for, the catalyst of this entire erotic adventure they're on right now, but because Zayn really wants to. Looking down at Liam falling apart just from Zayn's hands and Zayn knows this could very well be the best lay he'll ever have, at least for a while.

Zayn slows on his tugging, wanting to bring Liam down just enough to talk to him.

"What all did you two do?" Zayn asks him, voice sounding gravelly to his ears. "You and her -- how was it like?"

Liam whines, put out and annoyed that Zayn chooses now out of all times to talk about his former and defunct sex life.

"We just -- she fucked me, that's it," Liam somehow manages to say, with effort, trying desperately to fuck himself in Zayn's grasp but Zayn has a hand flat against Liam's hip, pinning him down.

"What else?" Zayn presses, stilling his hand to force Liam into talking. He doesn't necessarily care for what they did, but he'd like to know what all he can do with Liam now, what he can make new and interesting for him.

Liam glares at him for that and divulges. "That's it. I'd get myself ready, she'd strap it on and fuck me. Sometimes after I'd go down on her."

"That's it?" Zayn asks, suppressing a snort, though he's unable to stop his eyebrows from rising on their own accord.

"Yes, I know," Liam huffs. "The sex was boring and generic, she made that clear when she broke up with me. Is there a point to all this?"

"Yes," Zayn says, but he shrugs and gives no further details.

"And that was?" Liam tries, but Zayn just works his other hand between Liam's legs, a single finger slipping down the cleft of Liam's ass and pressing against Liam's hole. Liam immediately clenches at the feeling, though Zayn has yet to penetrate him.

Zayn smiles, catching Liam's reaction.

"I'm gonna get you ready," Zayn says. "We're gonna sixty-nine."

"I, we're what?" Liam asks dumbly, a bit surprised, but quickly gets over it and agrees before Zayn decides to change his mind. "Yeah, okay, okay."

Zayn shakes his head, chuckling at Liam, and moves to lay beside Liam in the opposite direction.

"You're gonna go on top," Zayn instructs, his hands gently clasping Liam's thighs as he guides Liam on top of him.

Liam doesn't even wait for further instruction, just follows Zayn's movements and before he's fully situated over Zayn he has Zayn's cock in his mouth. Zayn is pleasantly surprised, if he's honest, but more than okay with Liam's compliance.

In their new position, Zayn has the perfect view of Liam's holy trinity -- cock and balls hanging low beneath his pink colored hole. Zayn has to take a moment to properly admire the view and give it the appreciation it deserves, if only for artistic purposes. It's just, Liam is such a _man._ Sure, the cock and balls sort of gave that away, but there's just so much muscle and the right concentration of musk and, oh god, the _hair._

Zayn's always respected Liam's chest hair before, but he's very rarely seen it below the belt. Now he has a very in depth view, and he can't say he doesn't enjoy it. It covers his thighs and is lightly scattered across his bum, though there are even more spread between his ass, surrounding his hole.

Fuck everyone who thinks Liam is some sort of puppy; Liam is an otter, well on his way to becoming a bear.

Zayn's hands reach up to clasp at Liam's bum, fingers digging in to the fleshy meat, leaving white marks in their wake that will soon turn red. He pulls, spreading Liam's cheeks wide as Liam opens his knees wider and lowers himself down to create more room.

And then, because Liam has his kinks and Zayn has his, and because they've already come so far as it is, Zayn raises his head and sticks out his tongue. The first contact is Zayn's tongue poking flush against Liam's sphincter.

Liam's chokes on Zayn's cock in shock, his surprised groan making wonderful vibrations against Zayn's dick, but he doesn't shy away. Zayn takes that as a win and starts to lick tentatively, small kitten licks around Liam's rim at first before he grows in both confidence and arousal. Soon enough and he's licking long swipes between Liam's ass, starting at the top of Liam's balls and up his perineum before sliding fully across Liam's hole.

After a few minutes Zayn pulls back to take a look at his handiwork, finding a wet and sloppy trail of saliva in the wake of his tongue, Liam's hairs clumped together and stuck in different directions. Zayn goes back in and simply _digs in,_ trying to pry Liam's hole open with nothing more than his tongue as his hands keep Liam's cheeks spread firmly apart. It's definitely not bad, Liam's hole, though Zayn would really like to know how and why, exactly, it tastes like cinnamon. He's not about to ask, though, and he definitely sees no reason to complain.

Liam is still providing a valiant effort of giving Zayn the world's greatest blowjob, despite the fact he has no real experience whatsoever. Zayn can tell, but he doesn't say anything because what Liam lacks in experience, he makes up in eagerness. He's sucking and slurping around Zayn's prick without finesse and lacking grace, but his tongue performs wonders as it travels his length, and every so often Liam makes sure to pull off and pay special tribute to Zayn's balls, pulling one or the other into his mouth and sucking tenderly.

Zayn is just so painfully hard in Liam's mouth, though, and at the rate they're going, he's sure he's going to end up coming in Liam's mouth, and he faintly wonders if Liam realizes this and is intentionally seeking it out. As it is, Zayn doesn't want that. He's not entirely sure where he's going to come, be on or _inside_ Liam, all he knows is he doesn't want to come _yet._

So Zayn picks up his pace and slips a finger past Liam's rim alongside his tongue. Liam keens, pushing back on it, obviously familiar with the intrusion and yearning for more. Zayn wants to oblige, and suddenly remembers the dildo he had retrieved earlier. Without completely pulling his face from between Liam's spread cheeks, he reaches out and searches blindly for the toy, continuously tongue fucking Liam, ensuring Liam's hole is a sloppy wet mess.

And it is, Zayn finds when he pulls back, but considering the lube is somewhere in yet another bag and Zayn really doesn't have the energy or patience to go and search for it, it isn't wet enough. So after pulling back and admiring Liam's hole for no more than three seconds longer, he gathers as much saliva in his mouth as he can manage and spits out, targeting Liam's hole like a bulls eye, smirking to himself when it twitches.

Zayn rubs his spit around with his finger, pressing it deeper into Liam's hole to loosen it up and make it moist. As he has one finger in, he uses his free hand and circles it around Liam's rim. Liam instinctually recognizes the object and pushes back, ready and eager, and so Zayn pulls his finger down and pushes the toy in above it.

Liam pulls off Zayn's dick to moan long and outright, eyes closed and head bowed as Zayn pushes the dildo in as far as he can manage without losing it within Liam's bowels.

Zayn lays his head back and watches with a significant level of fascination as his best friend fucks himself back on the dildo, as if it were anything more than what it really is.

Liam continues to keen, moan and pant and everything in between as he works himself expertly on the toy, and Zayn finds himself squirming with impatience as the minutes go on, not because he's irritated but because he's hot and horny all over and Liam is too out of it to pay any attention to Zayn's cock to relieve any of it.

In solution, Zayn pulls the toy and his finger out, and after thrusting his tongue into Liam's opening one more time, strings of saliva connecting his stubble covered jaw to Liam's rim, he slaps Liam on the ass, just hard enough to leave a sting and hopefully a mark.

Liam hisses as Zayn manhandles Liam's hips, moving him so he can crawl out from under him. Zayn is so horny he can't even think straight, not with how Liam is currently supporting himself on all fours, his back a beautiful expanse of pale skin and taut muscle and his ass raised obscenely, legs spread open invitingly.

Zayn accepts that invitation with fervor, positioning himself behind Liam. He places his cock between Liam's cheeks and thrusts up and down, just letting his cock slide between them. Liam tries to clench around him, silently pleading that Zayn fuck his _hole,_ not his crack.

Zayn catches the plea and doesn't stop to tease -- neither of them will be able to make it. Still not wanting to find the lube, he spits on his cock and slicks it up, then aligns it against Liam's hole. The only contact is his head against the tight muscle, but Zayn can feel Liam clenching nonetheless and it makes Zayn want to feel it around his cock rather than his finger or tongue.

With both hands on Liam's hips, he pushes in, a guttural moan sounding low from his belly as he bottoms out, Liam moaning loud and deliciously, music to Zayn's ears -- a number one hit.

Zayn's breath is held as he stills inside of Liam. He's not waiting for Liam to adjust, exactly, because Liam is already pushing back, begging for more, but because it hits him then that this is his best friend. He's fucking his best friend. His _male_ best friend.

And he can't think as he pulls back just to thrust back in, slowly at first as he pieces himself back together, but soon he's growing in confidence and fucking with mirth. Liam is hot inside, hot and wet, so very wet and he's clenching around Zayn's cock almost desperately and fuck. Zayn moves one hand from Liam's hips and places it on Liam's shoulder as he shifts and bit, changing their angle and fucking downward.

Liam's back is arched as he sinks into the pillows. It's definitely not the time but Liam feels as though he should thank Zayn, but every time he opens his mouth another long moan comes out instead as Zayn pounds into him without mercy. It's so intense and so different than what Liam is used to, but he can't say that he doesn't enjoy it. Zayn knows what he's doing, that much he is proving, but Liam is at a loss and has resigned himself to just enjoy it, to just take it, because Zayn is definitely giving.

This whole thing is quite unorthodox but Zayn has risen to the challenge, set enough limits and restrictions on Liam and forced him to do things he otherwise wouldn't have imagined himself doing. And now Zayn is holding Liam down, earnestly fucking him into the mattress, and Liam is loving the domination Zayn is displaying.

Though while Liam can't find it within himself to complain, Zayn can. He's panting and struggling for breath as he tries to fuck Liam with his all, but Liam keeps making these _sounds_ and his head just keeps rising and falling and Zayn decides it's not fair, he wants, _needs,_ to see what he's doing to Liam.

It's probably the biggest mistake Zayn will ever make in his lifetime, though he doubts he will regret it once he dies, because after he pulls out, flips Liam over and slides back in, he looks down at Liam and knows that he's fucked.

Liam's eyes are blown wide and he doesn't even react to the fact that Zayn, half his size, manages to manhandle him like a doll. Instead he appears even more turned on, taking advantage of their new position by wrapping his legs around Zayn, hooking them at his ankles.

Zayn's hand return to the home they've made on Liam's body, one on Liam's shoulder and the other on his hip where his thumb alternates between digging in and rubbing circles. He stretches his body out and after pulling out to the tip, slams his hips back in, the force of his thrust making Liam's head bang against the headboard.

Liam groans, then hisses, gripping the sheets before they take a mind of their own and attach themselves to Zayn's body.

Zayn continues his powerful thrusts, filling the room with sounds of grunting and panting and moaning, of skin against skin and the wet sounds his dick is making as it slides in and out of Liam's hole. He can hardly focus or concentrate, but the small part of his brain that is still operating is screaming with _LIAM!_ It's just, Liam is such a _man._ If Zayn had to define masculine, he'd show them Liam. Nothing about what Liam has told him is anything even remotely close to what Zayn would've expected.

And yet, he is undeniably, mind bogglingly turned on by it all. It seems to exotic to be doing this, for someone like Zayn to be fucking someone like Liam. Surely it'd be the other way around? It seems so forbidden, is all, and that just makes it feel that much more erotic.

But while he's enjoying himself as he fucks into Liam, making him cry out in pain and pleasure, his mind is begging for him to see Liam fuck himself on Zayn's cock, sort of how he did it to the dildo earlier.

Zayn doesn't even pull out, just grips Liam roughly and rolls them over, manhandling Liam onto him. Liam doesn't break stride, scarily in sync with Zayn and just as Zayn lays his head down, Liam's hands are coming down to support himself, one on Zayn's shoulder and the other on his chest, his thumb rubbing against Zayn's nipple.

Liam reacts immediately and raises his hips, even while Zayn continues to try and hump up into him. Liam just sinks down on him, moaning delightfully as Zayn hits that spot just right, his insides feeling stretched to content.

There's truly nothing that Liam can compare this experience to. Nothing he did with her ever felt like this, so alive and real. It probably has to do with the fact that it was mostly extended foreplay, just them literally toying with one another, but this is so much different. Zayn is _alive_ inside of him, Liam can feel it, the constant throb of Zayn's member as it pulses and twitches inside him, the heat it exudes and how it reacts when Liam clenches around it. It's simply amazing, is what it is, and it is drawing Liam ever closer to the edge.

Zayn tries to catch his breath as he watches Liam simply lose himself fucking himself on Zayn's cock like that. It's a sight, one Zayn wishes were being recorded: Liam, all manly and muscled, his chest all covered with hair glistening in sweat, riding Zayn's dark cock as his own pink headed one bobs up and down above a jungle of darker pubes.

Zayn reaches out and wraps his fingers around Liam, pumping him along, foregoing fucking into Liam as Liam opts to fuck down on Zayn. Zayn pumps with the sole purpose of drawing Liam's orgasm from him, and he knows Liam is nearing it as he starts clenching around Zayn's dick more frequently, his pants and moans turning quieter and rushed.

Zayn gathers his energy and starts to thrust up again, helping Liam along, and it's not much longer before Liam is shooting his release, the first load streaking across Zayn's chest and torso. Zayn moans at the feel of Liam's hot come splattered across his chest and continues pumping Liam, managing to contain most of Liam's following releases in his hand, leaving it a very sticky mess of come.

Still, Liam doesn't stop fucking down on Zayn's dick, even when his own has lost half its hardness, and Zayn figures Liam is trying to make Zayn come just like that, buried deep inside of Liam.

And oh, how Zayn would love to, but not today -- at least, that's _if_ they do this again, and Zayn will certainly be praying.

Zayn wants to leave some sort of mark of his own on Liam, a reminder of what they did, what _he_ did to Liam, he just has to. And so once again he's flipping them over, pushing Liam on his back as Zayn pulls out of him. Liam goes to complain but then Zayn is scrambling up Liam's body until he has one hand on the headboard and another on his cock, right in front of Liam's face.

Liam opens his mouth, ready to suck Zayn off and his orgasm right out of him, but Zayn just presses his dick against the bottom of Liam's jaw to nudge it closed. Liam frowns but complies, and Zayn goes about jerking himself almost fanatically, Liam's come on Zayn's hand slicking his cock up smoothly, his mind set to the image of Liam's unshaven face drenched in Zayn's come.

The mental image is enough to spark Zayn's orgasm, and as his loads shoot free across Liam's surprised face, his fantasy becomes reality. Zayn's orgasm hits him so hard that he ends up losing balance, sitting on Liam's chest as his dick continues to sign its signature on its latest masterpiece: Liam's totally fucked out and wrecked, unshaven face.

There's come all over Liam's head -- in his hair, on his eyebrows, one of his eyes are even glued shut because there's a glob of semen resting on the lid. It's all over his cheeks and lips and it even looks as though Liam has some sunblock that has yet to be rubbed into his nose, but no, that's Zayn's work, too. And then Liam's _jaw._

The sight of Liam drenched in Zayn's come makes Zayn want to come again, but he's exhausted and feels just as wrecked as Liam looks, with his debauched expression and everything. His red lips are almost completely covered in come when Zayn places the head of his cock against it.

Liam opens his mouth, either to suck more on Zayn's cock or lick the come off his lips, or both, but Zayn stops him.

"Don't," Zayn warns, his spent voice near a growl. "Not yet." He leans over onto the end table and plucks Liam's phone from where it was charging. Once he has it he sits back down on Liam's chest, thumbing the password to unlock Liam's phone.

Zayn finds the application he was looking for and takes hold of his cock, tapping it against Liam's lips.

"Say cheese," Zayn says, smiling innocently at Liam, even if his eyes are still dark.

Liam rolls his eyes but Zayn still feels a grin beneath his cock.

"Cock and come," Liam says instead, and Zayn chuckles as he presses the shutter. He spends the next minute taking at least a dozen and a half pictures of Liam's current state, and of Liam licking the come off his lips and sucking intimately on Zayn's cock. Once his cock is deflated in Liam's mouth and fatigue is setting in, Zayn texts all the pictures to his phone and thumbs Liam's cell off, tossing it to the side.

"You look really hot like this, Liam," Zayn comments, absently massaging his come into Liam's skin with his thumb, as if moisturizing him.

Zayn has to pull his cock out from Liam's mouth as Liam makes it clear that he won't do it himself, and settles himself to lay beside Liam, cock aching and feeling spent.

"Yeah?" Liam eventually asks, and Zayn nods dumbly.

"That was, just, amazing," Zayn manages, though he still doesn't think that's an accurate enough description of how he feels about this all. "Just, fuck, wow."

"You enjoyed it, then?" Liam asks cautiously.

"Fuck, yeah," Zayn says, turning to grin at Liam. "I mean, I just went along with it to help my best mate, and 'cause I was horny, but fuck. I didn't think it'd be that good. Is that how it normally was?"

"No," Liam laughs, shaking his head. "Not at all. This was different, it felt real and you were just fantastic. It was great. Thank you."

"No, thank you," Zayn says. "If it wasn't for your little kink we wouldn't have done this. Wow. Remind me to thank Danielle next time I see her."

"I doubt you will, but you're welcome," Liam says, laughing again. "I have to admit, though, I didn't expect to like the whole cock and come stuff as much. That was new, definitely a new experience for me."

"But you liked it, right?" Zayn asks, a bit self consciously.

Liam grins at him. "Yeah, I definitely did. You have an amazing cock, Mr. Zayn Malik. I love it."

"Good," Zayn says, relaxing. "Because my cock feels the same. It wants to come in your ass sometime, so yeah, don't wait six months before you ask me for help, okay? Guys our age should be having hot, tantric sex at least four times a week."

Liam laughs outright at that, rolling his eyes. "I very much doubt that," Liam says, "but okay. But first, shower."

"You go," Zayn says, waving him off as he closes his eyes. "I'll sleep."

"No, no no," Liam chuckles. "Since you got me all dirty, you have to clean me up. Besides, it's Saturday -- we've got a lot of work to do if we're gonna make your four times a week quota."

"Sounds tempting," Zayn mutters agreeably, and Liam chuckles again.

"Yeah, I'll even suck your cock, let you come all over me again."

Zayn groans in excitement. "But then I'll just be making you dirtier. You'll never get clean."

"Then we'll never leave," Liam informs him. "Come on, Malik, don't tell me you don't have any kinks you're not interested in trying on me."

And, okay, Liam has a point, and the bathroom would be a great place to explore at least two of those.

"Yeah, okay," Zayn agrees, climbing out of bed and after Liam into the bathroom, his cock already hard and leaking.

**Author's Note:**

> admit it, bottom!liam wasn't _too_ bad, now was it?


End file.
